Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
