They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
third nipple confirmed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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