Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
