So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
