Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
