1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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