Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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