I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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