I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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