she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
