Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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