She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
