It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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