You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
