i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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