i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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