ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
