Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
