dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize