sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
