I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
