i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
