I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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