Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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