I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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