I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
