i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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