Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize