Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am spending my child support on dildos
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
