What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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