i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize