He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
