the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this hospital has no fireball
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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