You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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