youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
