just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
