Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
