we're blogging at a bar
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
