can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
