I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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