He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
