ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
