new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
