I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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