He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize