I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
