do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize