Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
