Plan B is the new Plan A
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
