why didn't you poke me back
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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