Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
