we have officially lost it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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