Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
