remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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