shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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