Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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