Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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