Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
