don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Randomize
