i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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