So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
