Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
